Another year. But each year is different than the ones before and the ones after. Where can I begin but to say that each passing second, minute, and hour is slightly different. We do not realize it when we become stuck in the mundane routine of the thing we call life but there is so much beauty that this mundane life has to offer. We just have to look a little bit differently at everything. Each thing that we do in our everyday lives has a bigger purpose which we are trying to fulfill but we often forget what the bigger purpose is. Tonight as I looked around me, I realized who has always been there for me in my happiest and darkest times. As sad as it sounds, that person was me. But who would I be without my mother. My beloved mother who I cherish more than anything in the world and who, in my eyes, is larger than life. I could wrap up the entire universe in a present and give it to her and it would still not amount to what she has done for me in any of my birthdays. It was as if in that moment I could see my mother in my grandma and myself in my mother. And it was in that moment that I felt loved but also somewhat heartbroken at the same time. Such an odd feeling that I have felt on many birthdays before. Another year.
Time goes by without us knowing. Time is precious and before we realize it, we have surpassed all our happy days and sad days without even having a memory of how it all occurred. So is it worth it to be discontent with the world, discontent with others, and most importantly, discontent with ourselves? Is it all worth it? To please others when we ourselves are not happy with ourselves. Because in the end doesn’t it all come down to how we feel about how we lived our own life. Imagine. With your last few breaths of life what will really matter. For those of us who are not materialistic, it will be what impact we have had on the world and how deeply we enjoyed every aspect of our life.
I still haven’t quite understood the meaning of life. I don’t know if I’m the only person in the world who feels so far from the meaning of life. Not just my purpose but something even bigger than that. I think it is strange how we go from having different thoughts in the span of seconds and how our mind is constantly racing yet no one can see it through our outside physical demeanor. I think it is strange how we obsess over our emotions but the majority of us only act on our logic. I used to believe that the human race acted on emotions but as it turns out we act on our logic which is a hidden mask for our emotions. Maybe this does not make sense at all but maybe this proves my point exactly. The running of the mind and the thoughts..I believe that is just what has happened now.
How can I break free?
How can I break free from the thoughts that occupy the mind?
How can I break free from the ignorance of mankind?
How can I break free from the feelings that invigorate the heart?
How? I wonder if all those who have broken free before can tell me how easy it was for them to do so. How easy it was for them to no longer think about “what ifs”.
How easy it was for them to tear away from the unkind and hurtful actions of others.
How easy it was for them to only have passion and love for those who they truly believed mattered.
To simply and without effort, break free.
What is your self worth? To some self worth is determined by the actions and words of others. To some self worth is actually the true meaning of self worth. It is how much someone really values themselves without the approval and attention of others. The only way to be truly successful and attract self worth from others is to have a basis of self worth of your own. A basis that goes beyond the physical and material. One that cannot be seen but felt. We need more people to feel this way…more people to feel worthy of themselves and feel it so deeply that they don’t even seek it from others. Just think about it. If every human on this planet, on this earth had this type of self worth, wouldn’t we be living in a heaven-like state with so much compassion and passion for ourselves that it would just exude happiness throughout.
Maybe it’s in the darkest times of your life that you really start to think about the beauty of it all. I think when we are so beyond happy and content with ourselves, we seem to forget all our worries. But when those worries come back within a split second is when we remember those joyful memories. Maybe what keeps us human beings going is not the weakness of our sorrow but the happiness which we remember.
I dedicate this to the human beings with the purest hearts and souls.
What do I envision when I think about what a pure heart looks like? I envision something red, something beating at a steady pace, something that stands alone but means so much more than a lonely organ. It means everything to the human being. It is the human being. When the heart breaks, I imagine it cracking slowly each time it is struck with sorrow and then finally crumbling until it has turned into a light pink dust. At that point the human being has lost. It has gone.
So if the pure heart is gone, what happens to the pure soul? Well I imagine a pure soul to be both lifeless as well as vivacious. Why do I say this? Because the pure soul is in unison with the pure heart. Therefore, when the pure heart is happy and beating with a deep red and vibrant joy, the soul is lively and heavenly. It is white. But when the heart has disintegrated into nothing but mere sadness and despair, well then, the soul too becomes dead and a black hole. So choose which way you want to keep your heart and soul.